Ingay

Kurot.
Paglawig ng linya palayo.
Paglapit muli.
Hampas sa batok
Distansyang lumiliit sa bawat kislot.
Hawak.
Mas masarap kang katabi.
Kahit na kalahati ng panahon nag-aaway lang tayo.
Mas gusto ko pa rin ang ingay na gawa ng mga pag-aasaran natin
Kaysa ang katahimikang dala ng pagwawalang-bahala
Hindi ko man sabihin
alam kong alam mong
natatahimik ang puso ko
sa ingay nating dalawa.

-h

Fall in love, and stay in love

Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in Love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in Love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.

-Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ

This line from me

I had a conversation with Mama while walking along San Isidro road in Libmanan, Camarines Sur last Wednesday. We landed on the issue of my cousins who got married with the wrong people (by wrong people, I mean those who are lazy and wouldn’t want to lift a finger in order to set their lives straight, and who in the process end up as burdens to my beloved cousins) or for the wrong reasons (by wrong reasons, I mean, those who married because they got pregnant or impregnated someone). The exchange went from something very factual to opinionated. 

I recall blabbering this line: I believe naman that love can sometimes be blind. Ok na ko sa love is blind, ‘wag lang love is crazy at love is stupid. I can’t take that. I’d rather be single for the rest of my life if I’d get a stupid man for a husband.

In my peripheral view, I think I saw Mama smiled.

-h

It is better to lose a few battles in order to fight for your dreams

A man was in a bar with his group, when an old friend entered. He had lived his life trying to go down the right path, but to no avail. “I should give him some money”, he thought to himself.

But the friend was now rich, and came to the bar that night just to pay all the debts he had incurred over the years. In addition to repaying the loans given to him, he ordered a round of drinks for everyone.

When asked how he had become so successful, he replied, that until days ago he was living as the “Other”.

“What is the Other?” asked Pilar.

“The Other believes that the obligation of man is to spend a lifetime thinking about how to have security so not to die of hunger when getting old. Therefore, living as the Other you fail to discover that Life also has plans, and they may be different.”

“But there is danger. And there is suffering”, the people said in the bar, who had begun to listen.

“No one escapes the suffering. So it is better to lose a few battles in order to fight for your dreams, then to be defeated without even knowing what you are fighting for. When I discovered this, I woke up determined to be what I always really wanted to be. The Other stood there in my room watching.
Although it sought to scare me sometimes, I did not allow it to return. From the moment I pushed the Other out of my life, the divine energy worked its miracles.”

in Paulo Coelho's book “By the river Piedra I sat down and wept”

Your love should never be offered

by Hafez

Love sometimes wants to do us a great favor: hold us upside down and shake all the nonsense out.

Your love
Should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger,
Only to someone who has the valor and daring
To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife
Then weave them into a blanket
To protect you.

Stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive.

Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.
I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being.

There are different wells within your heart.
Some fill with each good rain,
Others are far too deep for that

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions.

Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, “You owe me”

There is no pleasure without a tincture of bitterness.

Kaya mahal ko si Ebe

Kasi nilalapatan niya ng musika ang istorya ng buhay ko sa partikular na panahon. Nagsimula ko siyang makilala noong ako'y nasa kolehiyo sa UP. Sugarfree ang tugtog ng buhay-kolehiyo ko. Sila rin ang tugtog ng buhay-pag-ibig ko, noon, hanggang ngayon. At kahit wala na ang banda, buo pa rin ang musika sa tulong ni Ebe.

Tinutulungan ako ni Ebeng umawit sa gitna ng ulan.

power

“I kind of define power now by having the confidence to make your own decisions and not be swayed by other people. And be brave and fearless to know that even if you do make a wrong decision, you made it for a good reason.”
— Adele, photoshoot for Vogue, 2012

Honestly, I don't know if letting you go was a right or wrong decision for me. I was never given the chance to decide before I committed the act. The circumstances stopped me from weighing the pros and cons. You did not give me the luxury of time. You did not tell me you were leaving.

I'm not writing this because I want you to know about how I am thinking right now. That is the least of my concerns. I'm writing this because I want myself to know that it's fine if I made some life-changing actions without having thought about it. I'm writing this because I want to tell myself that it's ok to have risked letting go without actually knowing why. 

I have no idea if somewhere along I'd find out the answers. But one thing is sure,this life can't wait. I, too, have my own journey to continue.

But in case, just in case, you know, I won't be too far yet.