Kaya mahal ko si Ebe

Kasi nilalapatan niya ng musika ang istorya ng buhay ko sa partikular na panahon. Nagsimula ko siyang makilala noong ako'y nasa kolehiyo sa UP. Sugarfree ang tugtog ng buhay-kolehiyo ko. Sila rin ang tugtog ng buhay-pag-ibig ko, noon, hanggang ngayon. At kahit wala na ang banda, buo pa rin ang musika sa tulong ni Ebe.

Tinutulungan ako ni Ebeng umawit sa gitna ng ulan.

Dear Mr. Kupido

Nag-archery training ka ba talaga?
Nagtataka ako sa'yo e.
Madalas kang dumaplis.
Kahit si Anne Curtis, napakanta mo.
Walang-hiya ka raw at nasira ang schedule niya.
Same here.

-h

Ano na?

Nakakamiss rin pala yung may kaaway.

May hinahanap akong kanta

Pelikula ang buhay, bawat eksena may background music.
Kahit katahimikan ay musika, kung makikinig ka lang.

Don't touch my hand and call it love

No, I'm not pertaining to anyone upon hearing this song. Don't feel guilty. This is not about you.

In pursuit of a map

I am struggling to find something these days. That something I don't know what but when I find it, I'd know. It may read weird, but that's how I describe it in my head. You know that feeling of wanting something you don't know yet? That's what's been lingering in my head lately.

I feel a sense of restlessness, of wanting to go to someplace else in pursuit of something. Perhaps satisfaction? Because most of the things on my lap right now are dissatisfying? Perhaps answers? because what people give are just cues to them? Perhaps courage? Because I am no longer sure where I want to go? I have this vague idea of where I want to be in life but I don't know how to get there. And that sense of not knowing frightens me.

Or do I have to go someplace else to see these things? Can old folks be lying when they say that things I need in life already lie within me, in a reservoir of light waiting to be tapped? If so, is there a map to go within me so I can finally access it? Or should I just rely on trickles and glimpses of that light?

I'm clueless, restless, in a breathless mode of unknowingly wanting. But I'm moving, walking towards somewhere.

---

For this week, the theme is finding lost things and lost selves. Replays.

Good morning, beautiful.

I start the day with Brad Paisley, my favorite country singer. Hopefully, this day turns out beautiful for me. :)

On the top of my head, I still recall the tea talk we had with a Jesuit priest yesterday, he has the ability to read someone's eyes. He looked into my eyes and said, "In your eyes I see work, work, work. You're in a work phase." I smiled and nodded. Then he added, "I can't see the bedrock happiness. Or you must be tired?" I held my breath for a while.

The old Jesuit priest was right.

Still, I say, "Good morning, beautiful."

"I’m making all my own plans,

Throwing all my old ones away.

Gonna grow up, Be someone.

Draw a map, find a path.

Take a breath and run.

And run."

Jean, Jean

Come out of your half-dreamed dream, Jean, Jean.

Love moves in mysterious ways.

Love moves in mysterious ways. Yan ang LSS ko ngayon. Inspired? Pwede. In-love? Hindi. Matagal-tagal ko nang kinalumutan ang pakiramdam na yun. Kailangan, sa tingin ko.

Katulad ng pagsiksik ng libro sa book shelf, isiniksik ko na namang muli ang puso ko sa shelf. Until I fall in love again, sabi nga ni David Pomeranz sa isang kanta niya.

Ganun pa man, naniniwala pa rin ako sa magandang kwento ng pag-ibig. Hindi ako bitter dahil ayokong maging ganun. Napakagandang karanasan ng umibig para lang maging cynical ako. Sa tingin ko, kung napapait ng pag-ibig ang isang tao, hindi iyon tunay na pag-ibig. Dahil ang tunay na pag-ibig, nakakapagpabuti sa tao, happy ending man o hindi.

Ano ba tong sinasabi ko?

Kasalanan ito ni David Pomeranz ulit. Ang totoo kinanta ko na naman ang My Favorite Story kanina. Akala ko kasi wala nang epekto ang mga linya. Meron pa rin pala. Nakakatawa pero totoo nga yatang siya ang favorite story ko. I should have known all along when I looked in his eyes.

Siya ang favorite story ko na palagi kong babalik-balikan.

Kasi love moves in mysterious ways.

The River

You know a dream is like a river 
Ever changin' as it flows 
And a dreamer's just a vessel 
That must follow where it goes 
Trying to learn from what's behind you 
And never knowing what's in store 
Makes each day a constant battle 
Just to stay between the shores 
And I will sail my vessel 
'Til the river runs dry 
Like a bird upon the wind 
These waters are my sky 
I'll never reach my destination 
If I never try 
So I will sail my vessel 
'Til the river runs dry 
Too many times we stand aside 
And let the waters slip away 
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow 
It has now become today 
So don't you sit upon the shoreline 
And say you're satisfied 
Choose to chance the rapids 
And dare to dance that tide 
And I will sail my vessel 
'Til the river runs dry 
Like a bird upon the wind 
These waters are my sky 
I'll never reach my destination 
If I never try 
So I will sail my vessel 
'Til the river runs dry 
There's bound to be rough waters 
And I know I'll tke soome falls 
With the good Lord as my captain 
I can make it through them all 
And I will sail my vessel 
'Til the river runs dry 
Like a bird upon the wind 
These waters are my sky 
I'll never reach my destination 
If I never try 
So I will sail my vessel 
'Til the river runs dry 
Lord, I will sail my vessel 
'Til the river runs dry 
Yea 


-The River, Garth Brooks

April Came

April come she will
When streams are ripe and swelled with rain;
May, she will stay,
Resting in my arms again

June, she´ll change her tune,
In restless walks she´ll prowl the night;
July, she will fly
And give no warning to her flight.

August, die she must,
The autumn winds blow chilly and cold;
September I´ll remember.
A love once new has now grown old.



Certain songs make us think of certain people. Sometimes, I, too, am guilty of committing suicidal remembering.Blame it on certain songwriters, like Simon & Garfunkel.

Principle of Magnetism

---

Heard this song while prepping up for work this morning. It has kept playing on my head for almost the whole of today. If all that's happening around and within are considerably negative events, I definitely have people to thank for ushering in the positives.

Not like the movies, indeed.

This one so far, tops my music hit of the year. Good thing, I've waken up. No need for further mumbling. :)

Headline

Sakaling magbalik sa iyo
Pagkatapos magpalit-anyo ang paligid
Sa ’sang gilid may mga matang nagmamasid
At nag-aabang ng bagong laro

Alam ko
Pagbabayaran ko
Ang nakalimutang tagpo
Pagbabayaran ko

Sa tuwing umaalis at tuwing bumibitaw
Ang puso ko’y nagsusumigaw
Nagpapanggap mang nakangiti pa rin
Dala ang iyong habilin
Ang puso ko’y nagususmigaw
Nagususmigaw

Sakaling magpalit anyo ang ngayon
Magagamot ba ang pait ng kahapon
Pagsisisi’y nakaukit sa naguumpugang bato
Eto na kaya ang bagong laro

(Agawang Base ng bandang Peryodiko)

Somewhere out there

Somewhere out there. Singing somewhere.

November

I was scared to be alone,
Now I'm scared that's how I'd like to be.