Yesterday, when I was young

This song was the soundtrack of the movie which just made me cry liters of tears-- Once in a Summer. I'll write more about the film after the pain subsides.

Yesterday, when I was young,
The taste of life was sweet, as rain upon my tongue,
I teased at life, as if it were a foolish game,
The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame

The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned,
I always built, alas, on weak and shifting sand,
I lived by night, and shunned the naked light of day,
And only now, I see, how the years ran away

Yesterday, when I was young,
So many happy songs were waiting to be sung,
So many wild pleasures lay in store for me,
And so much pain, my dazzled eyes refused to see

I ran so fast that time, and youth at last ran out,
I never stopped to think, what life, was all about,
And every conversation, I can now recall,
Concerned itself with me, and nothing else at all

Yesterday, the moon was blue,
And every crazy day, brought something new to do,
I used my magic age, as if it were a wand,
And never saw the worst, and the emptiness beyond

The game of love I played, with arrogance and pride,
And every flame I lit, too quickly, quickly died,
The friends I made, all seemed somehow to drift away,
And only I am left, on stage to end the play

There are so many songs in me, that won't be sung,
I feel the bitter taste, of tears upon my tongue,
The time has come for me to pay,
For yesterday, when I was young

Beautiful letters

When I come across
beautiful letters
strung together,
a phrase,
a poem,
a story,
my heart stops.


-h

Hild

Oh, when I flung my heart away,
The year was at its fall.
I saw my dear, the other day,
Beside a flowering wall;
And this was all I had to say:
"I thought that he was tall!"

Healed by Dorothy Parker

My name shortened, "Hild", in a way that would enrage my speech communication professor, sounds like "Healed". In the same way does the above poem written by my new-found friend, seems to reflect my current predisposition relating to how I saw certain people in my past. Always, nature has its way of claiming that sometimes love can be blinding. Perhaps, perhaps, only true love can unveil a blinded pair of sights.

While awaiting the truth behind that assumption, I'll drink all the coffee I could leisurely gulp. :)

Ipinakikilala, ang bago kong kaibigan

Kakakilala ko lang kay Dorothy Parker. Nang mabasa ko ang ilan sa mga tula niya, naalala ko ang sinabi ni San Agustin: "Too late have I known thee."

Charles Dickens

Who call him spurious and shoddy
Shall do it o'er my lifeless body.
I heartily invite such birds
To come outside and say those words!

Dorothy Parker


Sa tingin ko, magkakasundo kami ni Dorothy.

In the End

When words of stones were thrown upon me, perpetrators heard not a single word from my mouth. Friends began to be divided into the real and the unreal. One thing that painful experience taught me was to be ever thankful and faithful to the real ones. Because as Martin Luther King, Jr. put it, "In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

Li(o)ving

Live, laugh, love
Look, lure, love
Look, leap, love
Live, love, lie
Love, laugh, leave
Live, love, long

At la(o)st, li(o)ve. Again.

-h

Blank

At a corner in the coffee shop
I stared blankly on the glass wall
looking through the raindrops falling
carelessly on the roofs of cars
coming and going

Random raindrops trickling down
on the pavement
making tepid pools
cupping waters of memories
melting down
the wall of oblivion.

Keep moving

"Know, therefore, that they are not gods, and do not fear them." -Baruch 5:64

Keep moving, and believe that God is moving along with you. :)

I hope

I HOPE YOU DANCE (Lee Ann Womack)

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

The Truth

God gives us not what we want but what we need. Sometimes what we want coincides with what we need. Sometimes, it doesn't. When we're torn between what we want and what we need, the world would tell us to follow our hearts, take the leap and risk.

Although the resounding voice tells me to jump in and take the risk, a silent voice whispers that I have to let God be. Sometimes, I just have to take a step back and recollect about the things that matter more than what I feel, more than what my heart desires.

The Gospel today reminded me of that which is most important. That something will not be taken away from me, despite the stones unturned, the disappointments, the unfulfilled hopes, and the unrealized dreams. That is His love, ever unfailing.

And that truth will never fail to make me smile. :)

A Happy Beginning

One more theory paper and I'm done with the semester. I can't wait for it to finish. Have I been a semester better? That I don't know yet but one thing is sure-- I am a semester happier. So far things have been going well academically speaking. But there's still a lot to be done. I am still at the onset of my graduate school life, hence the journey ahead is long.

Haaay. :)

Dahil wala akong tulog

Ang linggong ito ay walang tulugan. Gusto ko nang tumakbo papunta sa kama at maglakbay papuntang mundo ng mga panaginip! Pero pilit kong hinihila ang sarili ko sa direksyon ng realidad. Papers, projects, trabaho, eskwela, church activities, librong di matapos-tapos... at di masimu-simulang mga bagay. Naiipit na yata ako sa mabilis na gulong ng buhay. Pero masaya naman ang pakiramdam. Kailangan ko lang sigurong magdahan-dahan. E kung dahan-dahan kaya akong umuwi at matulog? :(

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Namiss ko na ang matinong pagsusulat. Palagi ko na lang sinasabing namimiss ko na ang pagsusulat nitong mga nakalipas na, oo, taon. Magtatatlong taon na kong di nagsusulat nang matino. Namimiss ko na ang mga araw kung kailan parang kasing normal lang ng paghinga ang pagsusulat ng kung anu-ano para sa akin.

Ngayon, ang pagsusulat ay parang pagpipilit na magpatalbog ng mga bato-- matunog pero walang ritmo. Hinahanap ko ngayon ang dating ugnayan namin ng sinulat na salita. Ang tanong, mahanap ko pa kaya?