En route to the office this morning, I met the man I first had a crush on. As I was on my usual brisk walking mode, I was already a stride away when I recognized him. I smiled at myself at the sudden thought and went ahead with my walking, post observing that he still has the same handsomeness bettered with age. Too bad, he's too old for me plus for a fact, he's married. So delete that handsomeness observation dear damsel and stress the point that he's way old now whilst you're young and free.
Speaking of free. Not in the sense that I'm available or what. I am--- reserved, that is. :)
---
Despite the stories that etch the concept of happy-ever-afters away, fairy tales still hold true in my heart. I believe that we are all meant for something great and beautiful not because we deserve it but because God wanted the best for us. Whatever we end up with is a result of our choices.
---
Now that's all for now. Out of my head, back to the world.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Walang pumapasok sa isip ko ngayon
Kaya magsusulat na lang ulit ako.
Nabigla yata ako sa dami ng kailangang gawin ngayong taon. Punung-puno na naman ako ng pag-asa at mga plano. Binubudburan ko na naman ng gantt charts ang buhay. Plano sa ministry, plano sa trabaho, plano sa graduate school. Plan A, B, C. Sana wag naman akong sumemplang ngayong taon. Inaamin kong palpak ang 2009. Pero sana akin na ang taong ito. Hindi pala sana, akin na. Akin ang taong ito.
Sa ngayon.
Momentum ang tawag dito. Punong-puno ako ng laman na kailangang isabog sa bawat araw dahil kung hindi lagot ako sa nanay ko, sa tatay ko, sa lola ko, sa boss ko, sa mga magiging prof ko, sa parish priest namin. Pero gayunpaman, matapos ang lahat, pumalpak man ako ulit o lumipad sa alapaap, ipinapangako ko sa sarili kong mamahalin ko pa rin siya.
Sabi nga nila, human beings tayo, di human doings. Kailangang isaksak ko yan sa isip ko ngayon pa lang para kung sakali e walang bitteran.
Life is good. Life will still be life kahit mamatay ako. Kaya kailangan kong bigyang hustisya ang buhay sa pamamagitan ng mga pang-araw-araw kong ginagawa. Ang lakas nga ng loob kong magsulat ngayon. I-ni-link ko pa sa Facebook ang blog ko para mabasa ng lahat. Wag lang sana niyang mabasa yung mga post na may kinalaman sa kanya, kung sakali wag sana siyang mag-assume dahil as usual, idedeny ko. Salamat kay Jas sa pagsasabing, "Live in the now."
---
Napakinggan ko yung interview ni Jo Taruc kay GMA kahapon tungkol sa mga nagawa ng huli sa Pilipinas bago ito tuluyang (sanang) bumaba ng pwesto. Marami rin naman talaga siyang nagawa, may sense din naman ang economic impact niya sa bansa. Buti may boses pa siyang inihaharap sa mundo pagkatapos ng lahat. Kapag naaalala ko kasi ang boses niya, isa lang ang tunog na umaalingawngaw sa isip ko: "I am sorry."
---
Babalik na ko sa realidad kung saan naghihintay sakin ang mga mahal kong gantt charts.
Nabigla yata ako sa dami ng kailangang gawin ngayong taon. Punung-puno na naman ako ng pag-asa at mga plano. Binubudburan ko na naman ng gantt charts ang buhay. Plano sa ministry, plano sa trabaho, plano sa graduate school. Plan A, B, C. Sana wag naman akong sumemplang ngayong taon. Inaamin kong palpak ang 2009. Pero sana akin na ang taong ito. Hindi pala sana, akin na. Akin ang taong ito.
Sa ngayon.
Momentum ang tawag dito. Punong-puno ako ng laman na kailangang isabog sa bawat araw dahil kung hindi lagot ako sa nanay ko, sa tatay ko, sa lola ko, sa boss ko, sa mga magiging prof ko, sa parish priest namin. Pero gayunpaman, matapos ang lahat, pumalpak man ako ulit o lumipad sa alapaap, ipinapangako ko sa sarili kong mamahalin ko pa rin siya.
Sabi nga nila, human beings tayo, di human doings. Kailangang isaksak ko yan sa isip ko ngayon pa lang para kung sakali e walang bitteran.
Life is good. Life will still be life kahit mamatay ako. Kaya kailangan kong bigyang hustisya ang buhay sa pamamagitan ng mga pang-araw-araw kong ginagawa. Ang lakas nga ng loob kong magsulat ngayon. I-ni-link ko pa sa Facebook ang blog ko para mabasa ng lahat. Wag lang sana niyang mabasa yung mga post na may kinalaman sa kanya, kung sakali wag sana siyang mag-assume dahil as usual, idedeny ko. Salamat kay Jas sa pagsasabing, "Live in the now."
---
Napakinggan ko yung interview ni Jo Taruc kay GMA kahapon tungkol sa mga nagawa ng huli sa Pilipinas bago ito tuluyang (sanang) bumaba ng pwesto. Marami rin naman talaga siyang nagawa, may sense din naman ang economic impact niya sa bansa. Buti may boses pa siyang inihaharap sa mundo pagkatapos ng lahat. Kapag naaalala ko kasi ang boses niya, isa lang ang tunog na umaalingawngaw sa isip ko: "I am sorry."
---
Babalik na ko sa realidad kung saan naghihintay sakin ang mga mahal kong gantt charts.
Flashes
I wanna go back to the times when my only problems were:
... where to keep my toys
... what Mama would cook or buy for merienda
... how to sneak out during siesta
... what furniture to use so I could reach the pantry cabinet where Mama kept the popcorn box
... what time would Papa come home
... what to order at Jollibee after our Sunday mass
... what time would my playmates appear on our backyard
... how to get perfect scores in test
... what to draw
... pleading for Mama to take me to the market with her
... where to find my lost big yellow doll
... what trick to do with my younger sister
... what to give the monkey at the Wildlife
... how to hide from the magsasako
... where to keep my toys
... what Mama would cook or buy for merienda
... how to sneak out during siesta
... what furniture to use so I could reach the pantry cabinet where Mama kept the popcorn box
... what time would Papa come home
... what to order at Jollibee after our Sunday mass
... what time would my playmates appear on our backyard
... how to get perfect scores in test
... what to draw
... pleading for Mama to take me to the market with her
... where to find my lost big yellow doll
... what trick to do with my younger sister
... what to give the monkey at the Wildlife
... how to hide from the magsasako
How does one disentangle herself with memories?
As the hands of the clock turn
Memories become shreds of tissues
that go 'round
and around
and around
They go 'round
and around
and go
Deep
Deeper
Deeper
to the deepest
Uniting themselves with
the cells
that are the very substance
of life
Now how does one
disentangle herself with tissues
of memories gone 'round
and around
and around
and deep
deeper
to the deepest?
Memories become shreds of tissues
that go 'round
and around
and around
They go 'round
and around
and go
Deep
Deeper
Deeper
to the deepest
Uniting themselves with
the cells
that are the very substance
of life
Now how does one
disentangle herself with tissues
of memories gone 'round
and around
and around
and deep
deeper
to the deepest?
To Past
I had a wonderful Sunday. After the fruitful youth ministry meeting, Jas, Cristy and I went to eat fishballs at UP. I really missed setting foot on that beloved campus, much more tasting its street foods with friends. After chit-chatting and eating, we walked to the UP chapel for the mass. And voila! Someone poked me as I was wiping my dear eyeglasses-- it's Mean!
Oh, how I missed spending time with this pretty friend of mine. We promised to see each other this week to catch up and perhaps to discuss about that guy in blue.
---
On our way home, Jas opened the topic of love. And I was surprised to find myself babbling about the orange guy. I told them I was not ready to open myself up to relationships, not at this point, when I knew that deep inside, there would always be a part of me remembering how good it was for the sky to be painted with the color of the sunset.
Then Jas said, "Live in the now."
---
It had been hard to live in the here and now. It would be for a long time. But I have learned the tricks somehow.
And today, I choose to be happy with the rising of the sun.
Oh, how I missed spending time with this pretty friend of mine. We promised to see each other this week to catch up and perhaps to discuss about that guy in blue.
---
On our way home, Jas opened the topic of love. And I was surprised to find myself babbling about the orange guy. I told them I was not ready to open myself up to relationships, not at this point, when I knew that deep inside, there would always be a part of me remembering how good it was for the sky to be painted with the color of the sunset.
Then Jas said, "Live in the now."
---
It had been hard to live in the here and now. It would be for a long time. But I have learned the tricks somehow.
And today, I choose to be happy with the rising of the sun.
Friday, January 22, 2010
One-Hand
Don't wonder
if I find solace in observing
than in being
I need to look and stare
a glimpse is enough
so I could tell
I don't need to feel love
to know it's there
It's enough that I see
I hear
I feel
to write
I don't need another hand to hold mine
I need my hand to be free
so I could write.
if I find solace in observing
than in being
I need to look and stare
a glimpse is enough
so I could tell
I don't need to feel love
to know it's there
It's enough that I see
I hear
I feel
to write
I don't need another hand to hold mine
I need my hand to be free
so I could write.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
I don't know what to write about
I am rather confused with the way things happen now in my life. But I am comforted with the fact that my God is here with me, seeing me through it all.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Restless
It is that perennial immateriality dwelling between living and dying
crouched in the corners and grappling by the hinges
only to remain unseen;
We weave our web of what we believe we understand
of the relationship of our acts and events
only to remain misunderstood;
From that odd wisp of steam of heated discussions
to the urgent hiss of a new page calling;
I teeter on that thin ice --
That single space of uncertainty --
And I ask
“What am I doing here?”.
by Cecilia Borromeo
crouched in the corners and grappling by the hinges
only to remain unseen;
We weave our web of what we believe we understand
of the relationship of our acts and events
only to remain misunderstood;
From that odd wisp of steam of heated discussions
to the urgent hiss of a new page calling;
I teeter on that thin ice --
That single space of uncertainty --
And I ask
“What am I doing here?”.
by Cecilia Borromeo
Friday, January 15, 2010
Oh, Danny Boy
Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling
From glen to glen, and down the mountain side
The summer's gone, and all the flowers are dying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.
But come ye back when summer's in the meadow
Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow
'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow
Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so.
And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.
And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be
If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.
Come home soon, Uncle. Lola is waiting.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Live Life to the Fullest
Starting today, I will remind myself more of the following values. :)
Each of us has our own way of life, "indifferences" as they call it. But the reality is that even how different we are and the way we live, there are universal truths, values and principles that are governing our world. These truths are both simple and general that if you try to learn and apply them in your life, a great change can happen.
Such truth gives other people a chance to find their place in this world and to live their life to its fullness. While for others who does not, makes their life so dull, hard and miserable.
How can you live your life to the fullest?
Knowing the answer can make your life as happier as it should be.
Start knowing, learning and living the truths of the secrets to good life that is a life lived to its fullness.
1) Live Today
Past cannot be brought back and the future will always be uncertain. Today is yours, so make the most of it.
2) Maintain Balance
Your life is affected by the four aspects that are mental (brain), emotional (heart), spiritual (faith) and physical (body). Learn to maintain balance of the four aspects, for as Spice girls have sung, "Too much of something is bad".
3) Forgive and Forget
The only person that suffers when you do not forgive is you. The other person is probably caring less of what you feel. Be kind to yourself and forget about it.
4) Accept Change as Part of Life
The more you can adapt to change, the easier your life is because change can open bigger and better possibilities for you, if only you would accept it.
5) Visit Places You Have Never Been
Seeing a new place let you discover and learn more of other things in your life. It helps you expand your perspective and horizon.
6) Read Books
The best way to live is through continuously learning. Try to be better than your current self. Keep expanding and growing.
7) Attend Classes
Just like the swimming lessons you have always wanted to take back in high school. Remember that you would never be too old to learn and discover where you really can win and be happy.
8) Take Time to Make Memories and Keep Your Journals
We should not wait for memories to happen, we should make memories happen. Find time to create memories with others. Make a note of each moment you do not want to forget, both the good and bad. Read your journal once in a while to see how far you have gone along. Surely, it will make you SMILE.
9) Capture the Moments
The ability to retrieve a memory decreases exponentially unless boosted by artificial aids like photographs and videos. Start taking those pictures you would like to look back in your old days.
10) Smile
Nothing beats a cheerful heart and mind. Be happy regardless. Make the world a better place to live in. Start sharing your sweet smile.
11) Join a Club
You can learn more about yourself by exposing yourself to other people and learning from them. It will help you and everyone else grow. We evolve at the rate of the tribe we are plugged into.
12) Learn to Give
The old saying would always be true, "The more you give, the more you receive". Our value as human being resides on what we can give and not on our capacity of receiving. Start spreading goodness by giving.
13) Spend Time with the Young Ones.
There is no better stress reliever than the joy and positive feeling given by the free spirit of a young one.
14) Open Your Ears to the Elders
Listening to the old ones makes you a year wiser. Remember, the best way to learn and avoid extreme failure is through the experiences of others.
15) Accept and Manage Failure
Do not be afraid to make mistake. Most successful people have gone thru multiple failures. A great treasure of wisdom is hidden on every failure.
16) Take Risk
Life is full of chances and you do not live if you do not take chances. As they say, the higher the risk the higher possibility of success.
17) Cry
Who said that boys and big girls do not cry? You need to cry, it eases the burden plus it will keep you from having diseases that is caused by emotional pains.
18) Respect Other Peoples Opinion
Who wins in an argument? Keep yourself from arguments. Nothing is solved with a heated talk. Learn to listen to what others may say without necessary believing and taking them as true for you.
19) Take a Break
Reward yourself for a days' work. Take that break, you deserve it and you need it in re-energizing yourself to another day of work.
20) Work Smart, not hard
The most stressed people are those who do not know how to work smart. Do not take the entire task to yourself. Remember, you are not alone in this world. Learn to maximize and trust the abilities of others. It is not a weakness to ask for help.
21) Be Yourself
Do not try to act like someone else just to please everyone. You do not have to, plus you cannot. Stand firm to who you are. Eventually, you would discover who are worth keeping in your life from those who are not.
22) Start Caring
People do not care how much you know, they want to know how much you care. Start caring and let the people know that you care. Remember, that relationship is more lasting than accomplishments and prestige.
23) Meditate
Take a time to be with yourself and be silent. Such can relax the fast-pace life you are in and helps you discover more of whom you are and who you can become.
24) Discover Your Definite Purpose
Life is a journey. As you go along your journey, set your maps. Discover the right you at the right place and time. To help you discover, ask yourself, "If there was no praise or criticism in the world, then who would you be?"
Once you know the answer, you are right there.
25) Live Life with the World
Do not live for yourself alone; remember that there are other people and creatures that surrounding this world. Even if we are not aware, every move and actions we take creates an effect to others.
So learn to take responsibility of your actions. And start contributing your knowledge and experience for the benefit of the whole world.
Life is not easy nor that tough neither. Having a good life and living our life to its fullness is merely a choice. So make that choice to live life to it is fullest.
This article was written by Lou Macabasco of Live Life to Fullest. Live Life to Fullest is a motivation and personal development blog, a journey to life successes while living it to the fullest. Life is a journey and not a destination. Our mission is to be of motivation and inspiration that is useful in your own day to day journey to life and success. How we do it is by ultimately helping you realize your potentials and enhance it further. For we strongly believe, that a life lived fully starts with oneself.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lou_Macabasco
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Missing points
With you words that form phrases and sentences go unquoted just like a newborn babe is not borne with a dress on or a seed does not carry with it a fertilizer With you words are just that fresh and new and withering just like a book thats never opened or a door thats never closed or a slipper kept inside a closet A writer once said he never uses punctuations to let his readers catch their own breath and I thought you take my breath away But then the chase is never ending circling around like a roller coaster that my breath almost ends itself in utter lost of air
Saturday Gladness
This is my most productive day of the week. I'm so happy with the way the ministry evaluation went on today. I'm sure everything will turn out right this year. See, this day made everything so bright in terms of work. This day pushed me to think on my plans vis-a-vis God's plans. I can't wait to go back to the office and start sprinkling fairy powder all around my room. :)
But the day is far from over yet, I still have to edit some files for our church's newsletter, work on the communications program gantt chart, ponder on ways to move forward with the previous projects, etc. Of course, the filing. I still have to organize everything and I don't want to get tired.
Perhaps I should take a walk around tonight to spot people for the BEC Youth gathering?
Oh, I also thought of writing a poem I already wrote in mind. Wait!
But the day is far from over yet, I still have to edit some files for our church's newsletter, work on the communications program gantt chart, ponder on ways to move forward with the previous projects, etc. Of course, the filing. I still have to organize everything and I don't want to get tired.
Perhaps I should take a walk around tonight to spot people for the BEC Youth gathering?
Oh, I also thought of writing a poem I already wrote in mind. Wait!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Make things happen
Today I believe only one thing: MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
And everything follows.
----
Our youth ministry will meet again tonight to discuss plans for 2010. I am much excited about the plans of the team for this year. After the core group bonding we had the previous year, I think it's high time that we end our incubation period and finally shift our focus to the young people who are not among us. I'd like us to aim for those youths who want to be active in the mission of the church. At the end, I want all of us to be one in vision. Anything is possible if we just make things happen.
----
Why do I have the sensing that Cesar Mancao's testimonies against Sen. Panfilo Lacson, however true, are just his tactics to gain more media exposure as he is running for a government position in their province? Whatever happened to this country's pure love for justice?
----
I came across a good reading in the internet lately. Here's the link: http://www.scribd.com/doc/23711234/What-Matters-Now
I'm back to my core somehow.
And everything follows.
----
Our youth ministry will meet again tonight to discuss plans for 2010. I am much excited about the plans of the team for this year. After the core group bonding we had the previous year, I think it's high time that we end our incubation period and finally shift our focus to the young people who are not among us. I'd like us to aim for those youths who want to be active in the mission of the church. At the end, I want all of us to be one in vision. Anything is possible if we just make things happen.
----
Why do I have the sensing that Cesar Mancao's testimonies against Sen. Panfilo Lacson, however true, are just his tactics to gain more media exposure as he is running for a government position in their province? Whatever happened to this country's pure love for justice?
----
I came across a good reading in the internet lately. Here's the link: http://www.scribd.com/doc/23711234/What-Matters-Now
I'm back to my core somehow.
The Sound of Story
"Millions survive without love or home, almost none in silence. The opposite of silence leads nearly to narrative, and the sound of story is the dominant sound of our lives." -Reynolds Price
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Not So Awesome
This day is one of those days-- unwanted. Except for a meeting I just had for a certain project, nothing productive happened. I feel guilty for slacking off. Ok, my fault. Still, there's this urge to work hard. However, something wrong has been afloat within my system lately. I guess I need long hours of recollection to identify the source of this restlessness.
I still love what I am doing at work. Except for some menial tasks, like copy-pasting letters someone else drafted, I can still feel the urge to do more and to give more of myself in most of the tasks. I want a change soon. As to whatever change it is, it still has to be discovered.
I think everything is a result of my powerful procrastination person. Indeed, it has evolved into a fully grown adult-- this procrastination urge is killing me. I must do something about it soon so things like long delayed projects can start rolling freely and smoothly.
That's all for now. Have to make the most out of the few minutes I have here.
I still love what I am doing at work. Except for some menial tasks, like copy-pasting letters someone else drafted, I can still feel the urge to do more and to give more of myself in most of the tasks. I want a change soon. As to whatever change it is, it still has to be discovered.
I think everything is a result of my powerful procrastination person. Indeed, it has evolved into a fully grown adult-- this procrastination urge is killing me. I must do something about it soon so things like long delayed projects can start rolling freely and smoothly.
That's all for now. Have to make the most out of the few minutes I have here.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
For Woman Only
A while ago, when my sisters and I were whiling away the hours exchanging stories ranging from Mica's (our kid pamangkin) holloween-ish attire today to Papa's attachment to his grandchildren, we bumped upon the issue of today's kiddie TV. Lyn was the first to mumble her wise observation: "Bakit wala nang pambabaeng cartoons ngayon?", she threw in the dice. Then flashed all the memories of Bibe and her gay pal, Raymond, acting as characters in Sailormoon. Lyn made mention of other for girls cartoons like Wedding Peach, etc.
I didn't say much at all. I just thought of it myself and realized that perhaps, this world is indeed a male-dominated world that even kiddie TV yields to. Why not? Ever since I could remember, male cartoons like Voltes 5, Naruto, and others have infested daytime television. It's rare to find even commercials that empower women. Most teledramas and advertisements undermine the strength of woman to outlast prevailing societal influences. Women in today's media always have to subscribe to what the society wants them to be.
Whereas, men can reinvent. And indeed, constantly, the other gender is being reinvented in various powerholding forms. The revival of Pepeng Agimat, Panday and other Carlo J. Caparras's male heroes now dominate the mainstream.
Indeed, Eve is still in struggle not necessarily with Adam, but with the world. Even for the kids'.
I didn't say much at all. I just thought of it myself and realized that perhaps, this world is indeed a male-dominated world that even kiddie TV yields to. Why not? Ever since I could remember, male cartoons like Voltes 5, Naruto, and others have infested daytime television. It's rare to find even commercials that empower women. Most teledramas and advertisements undermine the strength of woman to outlast prevailing societal influences. Women in today's media always have to subscribe to what the society wants them to be.
Whereas, men can reinvent. And indeed, constantly, the other gender is being reinvented in various powerholding forms. The revival of Pepeng Agimat, Panday and other Carlo J. Caparras's male heroes now dominate the mainstream.
Indeed, Eve is still in struggle not necessarily with Adam, but with the world. Even for the kids'.
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